When Cornered, Blame The Dodems

In addition to writing about the sweat lodge ceremony for attention and profit, Tamarack Song also uses his hokey fakelore to excuse his sexist behavior. In the first letter to a former student who inquired about his romantic history, he tries to explain away his failed relationships by blaming something he calls "dodems."

A few years later, the same student confronted him on his e-list about his anti-Indian racism and hypocrisy. The result: banishment from the e-list. And more dodem-blaming.

From: "Tamarack Song"
Subject: the stuff of life
Date: Sun, 6 Jan 2002 13:50:57 -0800

- edit -

Well, Rainy Day Woman, you asked if I would share with you what happened to me eight years ago. I will. I was in the middle of a year of celibacy, taken so that I could break my intimate relationship patterns and gain the wherewithal to begin anew under the auspices of my more balanced self. Lisa, with whom I just parted (and who is the mother of my son) was of Dodem Turtle - an extremely hard energy for me to be with. I knew that I was to be with a woman of Hawk Dodem, so that year also gave me time to gain perspective and clear the way for her. I did that, and four women of Dodem Hawk - four powerful illuminators of the dark side of my Moon - visited me in quick succession. It is because of them that I have the Balance I have today; I am so grateful for what they brought me. They were the last to know me the victim and me the enabler. They were the first to taste the ethereal me, the first to know me in a pluralistic sense. I am ever indebted to them for the life transition they helped me through.

But I was a fool: they were my teachers, not my peers. As each flew way I wanted to hold on to her, in order to hold on to the gift she gave. I didn't trust that I carried it within myself, that I could be self-sustaining. I feared that I would sink back into my treachery without them. At the same time I feared that they would torment my mother, and I did not deal well with that.

In the end I rejected each of them when they flew back and tentatively circled over. I did so because, in my faltering way, I recognized them as of a bygone era in my life.

Sortly thereafter it came to pass that I was told I could safely be with one of my own Dodem. I think that in knowing and accepting myself, as Hawk had guided me to do, I could then open to such closeness in relationship. I still don't know that I have the trust to do so, but I have the awareness - the first step.

Me

Anytime Dan Konen is called on his bullshit, he claims it's a personal vendetta, then blames some more dodems. No one here is trying to hurt poor Konen's feelings; we are trying to warn others to run like hell from this racist, sexist predator.

To: teaching_drum@yahoogroups.com
From: "Tamarack Song"
Date: Wed, 23 Nov 2005
Subject: [Teaching_Drum] Will the real Teresa please...

Greetings Folks,

In spite of how it might appear, "Teresa" is a kind and loving person. I care for her dearly, and I am glad that all of you are being respectful of her. Old Buzzard and David, I'm particularly grateful for your thoughtful and non-reactive responses. If anyone treats her disrespectfully, you'll be hearing from me.

"Teresa" has a deep and genuine concern for the issues she presents, and at the same time it appears to be quite difficult for her to carry on an open discussion around them. This is not the typical "Teresa;" if you were a part of our sharings of old, you would probably not recognize the bright, insightful, inquisitive woman she was then, as the same person you have now come to know.

What happened? "Teresa" has a personal vendetta against me that goes back a number of years. She is trying to hurt me by doing as much damage as she can to what is dear to my heart. She has been waiting for her time to strike, and the issues of Andesvirgo and others have given her a platform. Her anonymity allows her to feel safe, and her denial of the truths of others, enables her to keep clinging to her own truth in order to justify her vengeful deeds.

On top of that, she and I have a unique dodemic relationship, which causes her to feel threatened by me, and me to be wary of her.

How is all this affecting me? My first concern is for "Teresa," because I know how long and hard this has been eating at her heart. I'm glad she is finally able to get something out, disguised and twisted as it might be. I've been praying that she could some day step out of the shadows and begin speaking her truth, and I'm elated at this beginning. My second concern is for all of you. I'm used to being on the firing line -- it goes with the turf; however, you folks have been drawn to this circle for other reasons, and I am concerned that you are not getting your needs met. Issues like this tend to take over and suck up the group energy.

Because this is ultimately about me, I'm hoping that "Teresa" will soon feel safe enough, and have the courage, to come to me with it. If some of you want to keep eavesdropping on this drama, that's OK with me, as I have no secrets. On the other hand, I know that some of you are getting fed up with it. Please let me/us know what you think.

In Balance,
Tamarack

----- Original Message -----
-snip-

Yes, they do practice Ojibway culture both materially
and spiritually at the Teaching Drum. They also
engage in sweat lodges, which is a sacred American
Indian religious practice. When I was visiting there,
a terrible storm came one night and blew a tree down
so close to one of these lodges that it almost
destroyed the structure. I recall Tamarack having
admitted that it was a sign that violations against
this sacred ceremony had been committed.

To do these things on Ojibway land without further
educating people about the abysmal conditions facing
Ojibway people in the Teaching Drum's area is an act
of cultural imperialism. It is racist at its core.
Once again, white folks are putting themselves above
the law. That land the Drum is on is bound by treaty
to the Ojibway people.

Somebody needs to "awaken" themselves to the domestic
and international laws that do indeed bind us to honor
any agreements our ancestors made with American Indian
people. To try to put yourself beyond those treaty
laws by claiming you have no particular ties to the
land you are standing on is a deeply political act.
Once again a white man says: the law does not apply to
me. It is especially offensive when coming from a
white man who owns and profits from a very particular
piece of land that was never his to buy and sell or
profit from in the first place.